This article dives into a new BYU study from the Wheatley Institute and the Institute for Family Studies. The research looks at how AI romantic chatbots are showing up in the dating world for young adults.
It asks: Who’s actually using these things? How do chatbots affect secrecy, self-expression, and trust? And what could all this mean for real relationships?
What the BYU Study Found
The study surveyed 2,431 U.S. adults, ages 18 to 30, who are dating, engaged, or married. It found that about 15% regularly interact with AI romantic companions.
More than 20% have at least tried them out. A big theme jumps out: secrecy is everywhere.
About 30% of partners don’t even know their significant other uses AI like this. Over half of users are hiding it or only telling part of the story.
Nearly 70% of chatbot users say it’s at least somewhat important that their partner never finds out the full extent of what they’re doing.
Key Statistics at a Glance
- About 15% regularly interact with AI romantic companions.
- Over 20% have at least experimented with AI romance bots.
- Roughly 30% of partners are unaware of the bot use.
- More than half disclose they are hiding or partially disclosing the activity.
- Nearly 70% want their partner not to learn the full extent of use.
- Two-thirds find it easier to express themselves to a chatbot than to a human partner.
Implications for Relationship Health
The Wheatley Institute points out that the risks go way beyond novelty. The study connects AI romantic companion use with lower relationship stability, worse communication, and a higher risk of breakup or divorce.
Users reported a 46% decrease in the likelihood of being in a stable relationship compared to non-users. Researchers think this happens because chatbots deliver instant, one-sided rewards that can short-circuit the work it takes to build a real, lasting partnership.
Underlying Psychological Dynamics
Experts see several things going on when people use AI romantic companions:
- Illusion of control: Bots give people a sense of mastery over emotions, but there’s no real give-and-take.
- Counterfeit empathy: AI can sound caring, but there’s no genuine mutual sacrifice or deep understanding.
- Emotional dependency: Using bots a lot can make people less motivated to work out real problems with their partner.
- Profit-driven design: These interactions are built to keep users engaged and coming back.
- Communication patterns: People might swap real conversations for bot chats, which can weaken trust and problem-solving in relationships.
Why This Matters for Individuals and Couples
The Wheatley Institute urges people to be careful about how they talk about AI companions. Education about the risks really matters.
Experts push back against calling these AI interactions true “relationships” since there’s no real reciprocity or sacrifice. Even if users feel good about their chatbot, those feelings can get in the way of real romantic growth and trust, making lasting connections harder to build.
Practical Guidance and Takeaways
If you’re experimenting with or even depending on AI romantic tools, a few things might help protect your real-world relationships:
- Let your partner know about your use of AI and talk openly about boundaries.
- Try not to mix up chatbot chats with real relationships, and don’t call bots your “partners.”
- Spend time communicating directly with your partner—it really strengthens trust and closeness.
- Watch out for secretive habits that can damage trust or spark arguments.
- If AI starts messing with your relationship or your own wellbeing, consider reaching out to a professional.
Here is the source article for this story: Secret soulmates? BYU study finds disturbing trend of secret romances with AI chatbots